Sanji's Exam
by TFL's FallingRock Studios
Summary: After Sanji contracts an illness and gets checked by Chopper he ends up enduring revealing some "Saucy" information in front of Nico Robin. And this begins the game of tease between both with the cook unsure what the Archaeologist has in store *SanRo, LuNa, Re-Uploaded from The Flying Lion*
1. The Exam

**WARNING: This Fanfiction is rated "M" and is not suitable for a younger audience. If you do not like stories of the rating then please leave and if not then welcome.**

**Lion: Okay here is some context to this story. Way back about some months when I was barely a new fanfic writer I was getting into the anime One Piece and one of my favorite pairings still to this day was Sanji x Robin which lacked in a lot of fics on the site. And what inspired this strange tale was a moment in the show LOST where Sawyer is in a similar embarrassing situation which led to this. Now it's here with changes in editing on my second account for you all to enjoy.**

* * *

"Oi! Lunch is ready!" Sanji called out to his friends. Everyone sat around to see the large feast the cook prepared. Robin however looked at Sanji oddly.

"Oh cook-san, why's your face all red?" Sanji gasped.

"What do you mean Robin-chwan?" Sanji grabbed a mirror and looked to see his face a bright red.

"Ah! My beautiful face!" everyone else looked over to see Sanji's face and gasped.

"Sanji-kun! What happened?" Nami said.

"Ero-cook, you look like shit!" Zoro yelled out.

"That's not SUPA!" Franky cheered for some reason.

"Ah my eyes! Oh wait; I don't have eyes, YOHOHOHO!" Brook laughed.

"Shi-shi-shi! Sanji looks funny!" Luffy also laughed.

"AHHHH! What the hell happened?"

* * *

"Shitty sick… shitty Marimo… shitty exam…"

"Sanji Say 'Aw'."

"Aw."

Chopper inserted a thermometer inside Sanji's mouth and jotted some notes. The ero cook had to go through the basic checkup of jumping jacks, see the light, breath on the stethoscope, and now "aw". Robin was also there watching Sanji. The cook however was looking away from her and not speaking, which went unnoticed by the archeologist.

"Cook-san, this exam is for your own good. Chopper needs to find out how sick you are."

"Yeah, but I feel a bit nervous with you watching me."

Robin looked at Sanji curiously. Then she noticed what he meant and smiled kindly.

"Oh don't worry cook-san, it's not like I haven't seen anything before."

Sanji gasped and was glad his complexion hid his blush. He was stripped down to his boxers and was not too comfortable about it. And it didn't help being sick and having to be seen by the beautiful Robin-chwan.

Chopper on the other hand, spun back around and took out the thermometer. He looked at it and jotted some more notes, quietly humming and occasionally saying "aw, oh, what? Oh crap! Wait never mind" each word and act making Sanji a bit more nervous. Chopper then spun around.

"Okay, I'll need to ask some questions now."

"Great do I get a lollypop?" said Sanji sarcastically. Robin chuckled at his humor.

"Maybe, okay first: have you been getting headaches lately?"

"Yeah."

"How painful?"

"Like I just got my ass kicked."

"Mm hm. Have you been feeling nauseous lately?"

"Some times, but it's during the day."

"Have you ever had a blood transfusion?"

"Don't even know what that is."

"Taking pills for diarrhea?"

"What, no!"

"Have you ever had sex with a prostitute?"

Sanji paled up at this. The reindeer had the most serious look on his face. Robin tried to hold back laughter.

"What's that have to do with anything?"

"Just answer the question cook-san."

Sanji looked to Robin who was smiling. She was very curious. The cook sighed.

"Uh… yeah."

Chopper jotted down notes as Robin laughed. Sanji was mad now.

"Okay Sanji, have you ever had sex in an outdoor environment?"

"Y- Yes."

"Uh-huh. Have you ever performed anal sex?"

"Yes…"

Robin kept laughing at each answer. Sanji was embarrassed now.

"Okay, now have you ever contracted a sexually transmitted disease?"

Sanji was glaring daggers at the reindeer. Chopper still had a serious face.

"I'll put that as a yes."

Sanji abruptly stood. He grabbed his shirt and pants and turned to Chopper.

"Go to hell."

Robin began laughing as Sanji stomped out of the room. Chopper just looked at Robin who was barely able to stand.

* * *

Sanji swore to himself walking through the hallways as he adjusted his shirt and tie.

"Damn you exam, damn you Chopper, damn you sick, damn you-"

"Cook-san?"

Sanji jumped and looked to see Nico Robin standing behind him. The woman was smiling her usual calm smile. It made Sanji worry.

"Hi Robin-chwan. Eh, what are you doing here?"

"Well, I just came to find you and see if you were better."

"Ah, yeah."

Robin had her smile kept on. Sanji silently stood back from the woman.

"You know, Chopper said you have the flu but you should be okay with his medicine."

"Uh-huh."

Robin then walked closer to Sanji. The cook tried to step back but felt the wall behind him. The woman got close to him and pt her face close to his, getting Sanji to blush more. Robin was smirking.

"Hey, cook-san."

"U- Uh, yes?"

"I just want you to know that you don't have to be ashamed about your previous experiences."

"Uh- Wah?"

"Yes. After all we've done a lot of unmentionable things in our past, right?"

"Uh… uh…"

Sanji couldn't speak clearly now. Weather it was him being sick or the close proximity Robin was to him he had no clue. But as the woman kept smiling at him, Sanji couldn't help but feel a tightening in his pants.

"Cook-san, I want to let you know though. If you ever have an urge to get back to those habits," Robin put her mouth to Sanji's ear and whispered. "You can just come see me."

And then the woman stepped back. Sanji was now blushing a lot. The woman smiled a sensual smile and walked off. As Sanji looked at the woman walk away, he slumped to the floor.

"I- I think I like exams."


	2. The Great Tease

"Eh… what?"

Sanji was blinking his eyes as he sat up. Apparently he was on the ground.

"Where am I?"

The self proclaimed love cook looked around. He was in a blank area and couldn't see anything. then Sanji looked around to see a beautiful woman in front of him.

"Oh cook san… I'm all here for you."

"Robin-chwan…"

Sanji was a bit nervous. Last he saw her, Robin was acting differently. Sanji thought she was trying to seduce him. And with that gaze she was giving him, it might be so.

"Cook-san, you look a little glum. Let me help cheer you up."

Robin walked up to Sanji and put her hands on his shoulders. He gulped as she laughed a bit.

"Oi… Robin-chw-" Sanji was cut off as the older woman kissed the cook. His eyes widened as she moaned in the kiss. He closed his eyes and kissed her back.

Sanji noticed how the older woman was taller than him. Normally guys would feel awkward at this, but to Sanji it was a turn on. And he enjoyed this woman dearly.

Robin broke the kiss and sighed.

"Oh… cook-san, my chest feel's hot. Can you um…" Robin pointed to her large chest and Sanji's nose gushed a waterfall of blood.

"S-sure, my beautiful Robin-chwan!" Sanji then began to carefully unravel the older woman's shirt but then everything went black.

* * *

"SANJI WAKE UP!"

Luffy was yelling in the ero-cook's ear as he shot up from his bed. Sanji looked around wondering what was going on. Then he glared at Luffy.

"You shitty bastard, what the hell are you doing!"

Sanji glared at his captain who only smiled.

"Good morning Sanji! How are you?" Luffy asked while tilting his head. Sanji looked away grumbling.

"Well I was having the best dream of my life." Luffy looked at Sanji curiously.

"Is that why your privates are standing?" Sanji jumped back at Luffy's words as he looked down.

Apparently, Sanji's dream had left him a little "stiff" in his nether regions. Luffy began laughing as the ero cook covered his area.

"Damn! Luffy what the hell?"

"It's all right, I won't tell anyone."

"Argh… why are you here anyways?" Luffy stopped laughing and grinned.

"Well Sanji, since you're sick, I decided to cook for you!" Luffy pulled out a tray of food. The ero-cook backed away from it.

"Um... Thanks Luffy, but I'm not really hungry…"

"Just eat the food cook san." Sanji and Luffy turned to the voices direction where Nico Robin stood. "After all, I helped make it."

Sanji gulped at the woman. He felt his body heating up and another tightening in his pants as he struggled to speak. The woman kept smiling her infamous smile as she sat on the cooks bed.

"Hey Robin I think Sanji is having trouble talking." Exclaimed Luffy. Robin nodded.

"Oh you're right. well, I guess I'll have to feed him." Sanji shuddered as the woman got closer to Sanji.

"R-R-R- Robin…. Hugh… huh..."

Sanji was sweating a lot now as his body warmed up. Robin smirked at the cook as she grabbed a spoon with cereal.

"Open wide." Sanji's mouth opened as she placed the spoon in his mouth. Robin kept smiling. "Oh cook san, you have some food on your face. Let me get that."

Robin place her finger on Sanji's face and wiped the cereal off of him and put her finger back in her mouth. She suck on it and pulled it out with a pop. Sanji was now red as a tomato.

"Hey Robin, should I have chopper look at Sanji? He doesn't look good." Robin looked at her clueless captain.

"Oh don't worry Luffy, he's all…" Robin looked to see an empty space where Sanji was. "Cook san?"

Sanji ran at full speed away from the men's quarters to the end of the ship and jumped into the water. Swimming back up, Sanji sighed.

"Oh man, I'm a mess."

At his quarters, Robin and Luffy stood wondering what had happened to the cook.

* * *

"Say aw Sanji."

The love cook shivered and complied. Apparently Sanji's flu got worse jumping into the ocean. Like he was supposed to know that! And now he found himself getting another exam by Chopper.

Boy, ironic.

"Okay Sanji, your breathing is normal. But your fever has gone up tremendously. Have you been doing anything to make it this high?" Sanji kept shivering. Chopper felt bad for him.

"Uh, yeah. But it's nothing to worry about."

Chopper looked curiously at Sanji.

"You sure? Have you been…?"

"No I haven't been doing any previous activities as of recently! And besides, even if Robin offered to, I would never resort to…" Sanji then paled up. Chopper looked wide eyed and shocked at Sanji.

"Wa-wa- what did Robin do?" Chopper was trembling a bit as Sanji looked the other way.

"Never mind Chopper I was just ranting."

"No you're lying!" Chopper jumped on Sanji and held his head. "What did Robin do? What have you done to make Robin Un-innocent?"

"Hey I didn't do anything! Robin's just been acting strange lately."

Chopper glared at Sanji.

"I respect Robin, she's nice to me and pets my head, so I know if she's acting weird, it's YOUR fault!"

"Waa- how's it my fault?"

"You always make women act weird! Like when we stopped at that one restaurant, all the girls had lovey dovey heart eyes and kept calling you 'Sanji sama'."

Sanji paled at Chopper's words.

"Okay you caught me. But- oh my god! a marshmallow monster!"

"AH WHERE!" Chopper took a defensive stance and looked to see nothing. "Sanji there's nothing… uh."

The spot where Sanji stood was empty as Chopper sighed.

* * *

Robin sat reading a book. Normal? Well it'd normally be normal, but Robin wasn't being normal. The woman couldn't stop thinking about Sanji. She knew the cook had a fascination for her and she felt receptive to those feelings. And being the mature woman she was, Robin thought Sanji would take things a step further. The woman sighed.

"Cook-san, you're acting so strange." Robin put her hands on her head. Then she heard a noise from the hallway and looked up.

"Oi Robin! Can you make me some food? Chopper said Sanji need's rest." Robin smiled at the boy.

"Sure Luffy. I'll be there in a sec." the boy grinned making the book lover smile. Then he sat atop the table.

"Hey Robin, why's Sanji being weird?" the woman looked up from her book. She then sighed.

"I don't know Luffy. It's probably the flu."

"I see." Luffy had a hand on his chin making one of his infamous "thinking faces". Robin smiled at the boy. "But you know, Zoro said Sanji was being a nervous wreck."

Robin looked wide eyed at the young boy. She then started laughing bit making Luffy curious. Robin then stood up.

"Okay Luffy why don't I make you your food?" the boy jumped off the table and cheered. The woman walked behind him smiling.


	3. The Confrontation

"What the hell did you just say?" Zoro stared at a certain love cook wrapped in a red blanket (courtesy of Nami). Said cook dragged a cigarette.

"I asked you why Robin chwan is being… odd."

"Odd?" Zoro lifted the weights off of his arms, legs, and…. Uh, another part he wanted to try, and stared at Sanji.

"Yeah she's been kind of... mysterious and seductive actually."

"And why do you think I'd be any help?" Sanji scratched the back of his head sheepishly.

"Well compared to the other guys on the crew you seem to know more about these things. And you're kind of the sanest one here." Sanji coughed as Zoro thought about it.

"Wow I didn't realize. But…" Zoro stared at the members of the crew who were conveniently all on deck.

"And so I the great Ussop- sama slayed all the samurai warriors and protected the princess from the evil warlord!" Ussop did a heroic pose atop a barrel as Chopper squealed.

"Wow really?"

"Yes! Now let me tell you about the time I fought against the warriors from hell who tried to kill my friend. Did you know I had 6,000 warriors with me?"

Meanwhile Franky finished an invention and smiled proudly.

"OW! I just finished my awesome cola powered jet pack!" the cyborg placed it on his back. "I can tell this'll be SUPA!"

The cyborg flew off but almost managed to hit Brook.

"Ah! Frankey san!" the skeleton dodged as Frankey flew higher.

"Sorry skeleton aniki!"

"Oh, my heart was beating so fast. Ah wait, I don't have a heart. YO-HO-HO-HOO!"

As that was going on, Luffy excitedly ran up to Nami sitting at her chair.

"Nami, Nami, Nami, Nami, Nami, Nami!"

"What do you want Luffy?" asked the orange haired navigator slightly irritated.

"Nami I caught this look!" Luffy held out a large fish which made a few noises and then expanded. "See isn't this cool?"

"Luffy you idiot that's a puffer fish!" Nami backed away as Luffy held a curious expression.

"What's that?"

"That fish! It's the most poisons' fish in the world! It can kill you!" At this Luffy's expression change to panic.

"Ah Nami save me!" Luffy threw the fish at the Navigator who swatted it.

"Don't do that!"

"But it'll kill me!"

"It'll kill me too!"

The captain and navigator continued their little game of "hot puffer fish" as Zoro looked back at Sanji.

"Okay you have a point here."

Zoro sat back down as Sanji held the blanket closely.

"So what do you think?"

"Hm… well that woman's always been a mystery to me. But…" Zoro stared off at the sea with an intense glare. Sanji gulped at the swordsman's aura.

"But…?"

"Well I think that woman just wants some."

"Hold that thought."

Sanji ran to the kitchen and pulled out a glass of water. Then he came back and drank a sip before spitting it out on the poor Marimo.

"WHAT?"

Zoro twitched as he felt the cold water fall off his face.

"Oi, ero co-"

"Robin chwan wants' to… with ME?" Sanji fibbled a bit as Zoro wiped off his face.

"Yeah. Why's it so surprising. She's a good normal healthy woman."

"Yeah well, I never really thought Robin of all people would…" Sanji stopped as his face went redder than normal.

"Oi cook what's wrong with you? Not talking about sex is out of character for you dude."

"Yeah well… I kind of accepted the fact that neither Robin chwan nor Nami swan would fall for me."

Sanji rubbed his head sheepishly as Zoro stared in amazement.

"Dude… we may comically hate each other but, I feel kind of sorry for you." Zoro stated bluntly. Sanji then had a bummed out expression as he slumped to the floor. "Oi ero-cook!"

As Zoro tried to cheer up the sad cook, a certain eye watched them intently. Said eye then disappeared as a certain archaeologist smiled.

"So he's lost his confidence? This makes things easier."

* * *

Sanji walked towards the bathroom through the long halls of the ship. He felt very weak and thought a shower would do him good.

The cook opened the door and began to undress. Now maybe it was because of his illness, but the ero-cook failed to notice flower petals everywhere on the floor. He also failed to notice the half naked woman smirking atop the tub.

"How's it going cook- san?"

Sanji fell forward at the voice. The cook looked up to see Nico Robin smiling at him.

"Oh-ah- Robin chwan I didn't know you were here.. I- I-I uh, I better leave!"

Sanji almost made it out when his face hit the door causing him to fall back on the ground.

"Cook- san, you're so cute when you're nervous." Robin then closed the door with her other arms as she stood over Sanji.

The ero-cook looked up to see the woman wearing a very revealing black bra that could barely contain her breast and a skimpy purple skirt. He immediately flushed red noticing he had the perfect view.

"Oh, do I look beautiful to you cook- san?"

Robin said rather seductively. Sanji couldn't speak as she lifted him upwards with her extra arms.

Sanji now stood looking at the woman of his fantasies. He could feel a tightening in his pants as the woman held him close to her.

"Ah… ah… Robin ch-"Robin then did the unthinkable as she captured the cook's lips. Sanji's eyes widened as Robin looked at him with glad eyes.

"I see you're enjoying this." Robin said between kisses. Sanji tried to kiss back, but didn't have enough strength from nervousness.

Robin held the shorter man to her body closely as she maneuvered them closer to the bath. She then stopped the kiss as Sanji stood heavily flushed and sweaty. Robin smiled another one of her beautiful smiles.

"I'm guessing that I'm really attractive to you cook- san."

"H- hai, Robin…" Sanji couldn't speak as he felt very dazed looking in the woman's eyes. Robin then looked down curiously only to smile again.

"Well I see that you're pretty big down there." Sanji stared at the woman as she pointed to his crotch. His eyes popped out looking at his bulge whilst trying to cover it.

"Ah! Ah! Robin, it's uh," Robin silenced Sanji placing one of her delicate fingers on his lips.

"Why are you so nervous?" Sanji stared at the woman as she began to caress his face. He moaned as he thought about an answer.

"Because… I never thought you'd like me more than a friend. And," Sanji looked away as Robin stared at him.

"And?"

"And…. I've never been with an older woman as beautiful as you." Robin's cheeks tinted pink as she looked at the cook.

"Really?"

"Yes."

Robin then put a hand on her chin staring at Sanji. Then she smiled.

"Well I'm going to change that." Robin said walking closer to the tub. Sanji stared at the woman.

"What do y-"but the cook never finished as his eyes popped out seeing Robin removing her shirt.

A fountain of blood came out as the woman turned to face him revealing her bare breast.

"AH- AH- ROBIN CHAWN!"

Robin smiled at the cook's antics.

"You like?" the woman replied. Robin then held her large breast together winking. "Well then Sanji- kun, it seems you wanted to take a bath. Mind if I join?"

Sanji looked at the woman who made the cutest pout. Then he stood up and began to remove his shirt.

"For you… anything."

Meanwhile, Zoro looked in through the peephole of the bathroom. The Marimo grinned as he walked off.

"Looks like I finally beat Nami in a bet."


End file.
